English Translation

SERGEI IVANOVITCH MOURAVIEFF-APOSTOL

Letter to his Father
Ivan Matveevitch Mouravieff-Apostol

21 January 1826

My dear and good Father,

The emotion that fills me at the moment of writing to you is so great, and I am so deeply convinced in my heart that I must ask your forgiveness for the many filial wrongs with which I have burdened you during the unhappy period that has just passed.

Believe, my dear Father, that every time my thoughts dwell upon the anguish and profound sorrow that you must feel, I am overcome by remorse. Forgive me; do not refuse this prayer from a son who addresses you. He is full of repentance and still dares to rely upon the indulgence of a benefactor when he has lost every claim upon any other.

My poor Matthieu is more deserving than I, for he merely followed me in an undertaking which he himself did not approve, solely so as not to separate his fate from mine. I tell you this, my dear Father, because it is the truth. Matthieu's conduct has always been a continual proof of friendship, devotion, and purity of character. You will esteem him even more highly when you come to know fully the nobility of his heart.

I ask Madame's forgiveness if I have caused her sorrow despite the affection she has always shown me. I do not doubt that I should have been happy had my life offered me an opportunity to prove to her, by more than words, the devotion and gratitude that I shall preserve for her throughout my life.

I also ask forgiveness of my good Catherine and Elisabeth. I thank them for their constant friendship toward me, and I pray that God may add many years to their lives and to their happiness.

I extend the same wishes to my good Hélène Petrovna and to her dear children. May they find in you all the consolation that I should have wished to give them myself.

I need, my dear Father, the assurance of your forgiveness. I need you to tell me that you do not refuse me your blessing. That assurance will give me the strength to bear whatever fate awaits me.

Permit me also to ask that you keep, as a remembrance of me, a ring that I have worn, and which is presently among my belongings. I am certain that it will not be denied of your son.

This ring was given to me by Matthieu and has not left me for five years.

May it remind you, my dear and good Father, of a son of whom you were once proud; a son who caused you much sorrow, who now implores your forgiveness on his knees, loving you more than ever, despite all that has happened.

Receive, my dear Father, the assurance of my deepest respect and my most tender affection.

21 January 1826

Serge Mouravieff-Apostol

POSTSCRIPT

I venture to commend to your kindness, my dear Father, two little orphans whom I had adopted and who are presently in Kharkov.

Their baptismal certificates and other papers should also be found there.

One of them is in poor health and, I am told, suffers from a scrofulous condition for which the physicians have prescribed a prolonged course of treatment and baths in Tauride (Palace in St. Petersburg).

They would consider themselves fortunate, my dear Father, to have a protector who could now be more useful to them than I can be.

I also commend to your kindness those people who have remained devoted to me.

One more request, my dear Father.

Ask permission to send me a Gospel, and if that request is granted, write with your own hand on the first page that you have forgiven me and that you give me your blessing.

That book, which for me will be the pledge of your forgiveness, will be my consolation. I desire nothing more.

ANNOTATION (1873)

(This note in the hand of Matvei.)

"1873. This letter, written in prison in 1826 by Sergei Ivanovich Mouravieff-Apostol, was preserved among the family papers and later transmitted to Olga Dmitrievna Shepeleva."